Today a friend posted an inspirational picture, it said “You will be too much for some people. Those aren’t your people”.
I saw it, read it, smiled because I understood that feeling all too well, hit like, and then kept scrolling. As usual just a thought to myself of a feeling I’ve felt quite often. Then my day progressed.
The usual routine of dealing with my kids, trying to get stuff done, and you know life in general. I go through my day being pretty confident in myself. Yet, there are days (this being one of them) that I get told I’m too much.
How many times have you been told you are being too loud?
Not talking about when you are at the movie theater or somewhere like that. But in everyday life? I’ve probably heard that several hundred times. I’m not sure the people who’ve said it to me realize how much they hurt me, or that because of their comments I’ve gone days without talking very much because they’ve made me so self-conscious.
I’m relatively young so it’s taken me a while to become comfortable with myself and who I am. Part of that reason is people who feel the need to tell me I’m too much. Too loud. Too much energy. Too much to handle. I’d love to say these were all random people who didn’t know me well, but the truth is these were friends. Friends who I really thought we were more than that. (And I’m all about being honest, but this is a bit different than that shirt doesn’t match those pants.)
Part of my issue is I wouldn’t say anything because I am not good with conflict. When you keep hearing something about yourself in a negative tone it starts to be hard not to believe it. Being hit at something that is such a part of who you are isn’t always easy to understand. I promise I have some thick skin, but when people feel the need to say it over and over, you need to learn to move away.
Learning to move away from people is hard
I’m a very loyal person, but in the end making yourself happy is way more important than making them happy. It takes a lot for me to tell myself that it’s ok to move away from people who might think you are too much, because maybe, just maybe they aren’t enough for you. It has taken me so long to realize it’s ok to be me-big mouth and all. That by allowing others to make me feel this way was giving them some power over me they didn’t deserve.
So while it may have just been a passing quote on my Facebook feed, I’m glad to know I’m not the only one who feels like they are too much, and it pushes me to find “my people” where laughing loudly is seen as a good thing rather than being told I’m being too loud.